I felt the magic of SAM with Poise® Microliners as part of a sponsored post for Socialstars #LifesLittleLeaks
OK, moms. Grab your cup of coffee and have a seat because it’s time to talk about the truths of motherhood. You know, those things that nobody told you before you became a mom. When I think back to pregnancy days, I remember a complete overflow of information. How to breastfeed. How to deal with diaper rash. How to do pretty much everything except survive. Because, you see, life after you become a mom is never the same.
But don’t worry! Thank goodness for you I’m here to tell you the things that they didn’t tell me! Yes, that’s right….get ready for the good, the bad and the oh so ugly! Ready? Then let’s look at what you really need to know about life after becoming a mom!
Now I’ll warm you. Some of these truths aren’t pretty. In fact, you may want to unread a few. But rest assured that by sharing them, I’m giving you a step up on what motherhood really looks like. Let’s get started! What should I share first……I know!
You Will ALWAYS Need Spanx
OK, seriously, prior to becoming a mom I thought that you popped that little sucker out and went right back to rocking your skinny jeans. The reality of still looking 6 months pregnant when I had a 6 month old baby was quite a shock for me. Add to this the fact that I was a single mom and trying to date and let’s just say that I became very familiar with the squeezing my so-not-flat belly into all types of torture devices. For 12 years now, I have not been able to take a deep breath when I am out in public. I have accepted this as part of the mommy package. And I anticipate this will stay the same at least until I start losing my eyesight and can convince myself that my belly does not bulge where a 9 pound baby stretched it out.
Your Purse Will Forever Be a Death Trap of Nastiness
I don’t care what brand of handbag you carry, it will never again really be your own. You can rock that Gucci or pimp that Prada but the inside of it will be an absolute disaster. When you reach in to find your keys you will come out with half eaten teething biscuits, used Boogie Wipes and even an occasional filled diaper (yes, feel free to gag now). Even with your best attempts to clean that bag up and make it the hot, sexy mama bag again, you will forever find remnants of your children inside. As they get older, it will become a bobby trap of toys and half eaten snacks. Helpful hint: Give up now and simply carry a clutch (who needs lipstick anyway) since much less crap tends to fit inside.
You WILL Judge Other Moms
Prior to become a mom, everyone tells you that motherhood is the sisterhood where you’ll find acceptance and support. Wweeelllll, not really. While I don’t want to take away from the fact that there are moms out there who genuinely want to help, more of us are all to ready to cut our eyes at your child and whisper to our fellow mom “My child will NEVER do that!”. Don’t worry about being judged though because chances are better than good that our own child will do exactly what yours was just doing at some point and you can turn around and make the same comment about us. Revenge is sweet right?
Your Kids Will Say (and Do) Some Crazy S***
Just as in the point above, no matter how well trained your mini-me is, they WILL embarrass you with the things they say and do. Point in case, I have two boys. They LOVE to talk about bodily functions…in public. Church is one of their favorite places! And they are not discreet. “I pooted!” is a favorite in our home followed closely by repeating the one bad word that slipped out of my mouth that time when I hit my head on the car door. Yes, I get all types of judgement on that one but hey, what can you do? In fact, the more you tell them not to strip naked and run out of the bathroom screaming about what just came out of their body, the more delight they will get out of the look of horror on your face as you watch your parenting score go through the roof!
And When They Do You Just Might Pee
When your kids say and do that crazy stuff, at first you’ll try to hide. Don’t fight the urge…it’s natural. But eventually you’ll realize that everyone knows they belong to you so stop fighting it and embrace it. It’s been said that it is better to laugh with someone than to laugh at them so go for it mama! Don’t be afraid to LOL when your kids get crazy. After all, you can either laugh or cry and since I’m the queen of the ugly cry, I will always go with the laughing option! But when you do break down into hysterical laughter, be prepared for the final gift of motherhood…..leaking.
Listen to me well when I tell you that you can Kegel it daily and you will still leak! It’s just one of the many joys of having a baby play soccer with your bladder for nine long months. So go ahead and accept the fact that light bladder leakage is now a part of your oh, so mature vocab (remember, poot is in there too – high five!). Then realize that you’re not alone. In fact, 1 in 3 women over the age of 18 have reported episodes of incontinence. But what is going to set YOU apart mama is your unique ability to prepare for the unexpected in the way that only a mom can!
Because while you watch the other moms uncomfortably stiffle their crazy child induced giggles and head to the rest room, you’ll be able to rest assured that leakage can’t surprise you! Why? Because you know the real secret that every mom needs to know. And it’s name is Poise®. With super absorbent material (better known as your new BFF SAM) and discreet coverage wrapped in the thinnest package ever, it’s the perfect way to fight LBL!
As the thinnest liner on the market to help busy moms combat light bladder leakage, it won’t make you the laughing stock. In fact, you’ll be the one laughing knowing that while the rest of the mom world may have to stop themselves in moments of hilarity, you can laugh away like the now-crazy woman you are with the confidence to know that even when life’s funny moments happen, you’re prepared.
So remember, babies wear diapers. Moms don’t. Because moms have the confidence to fight light bladder leaks the smart way with Poise®. Now, in those moments where you feel like motherhood may get the best of you, stop, step back and laugh confidently because you know the truth about motherhood. And while it may not always be pretty, at least your life as a mom will always be dry! You’re welcome!