It’s no secret that we live in a stressful world. Each and every day, pretty much every person encounters some type of stress in their life. While stress is often thought of as an adult issue, as more research is being done, more information is coming to light on what stressors are affecting children and what impact they are having. Most children are exposed to some stress on a daily basis, whether from school, home or from social interactions. While there are a variety of situations can most definitely cause stress, there is a different kind of stress that every parent should know about called toxic stress. Now, let me be clear…..this is not the type of everyday stress that our bodies are equipped to deal with and move on from. This is stress that occurs from life-altering traumatic experiences and is something that every parent should be aware of. That’s why I encourage each of you to read on and find out what toxic stress is and why you should be concerned about it affecting your child.
What Is Toxic Stress and what Causes It?
Let’s start by taking a look at what toxic stress is and what causes it. In case you didn’t know, there are three basic types of stress; positive stress, tolerable stress and toxic stress. Positive stress can occur on a daily basis and is just part of everyday life….taking a test at school, playing in a sports game, moving to a new town. When events like this happen, our body’s stress hormones help us do what’s needed in the moment. Once we have adjusted and the event has passed, the body goes back to its normal state.
Tolerable stress is more extreme stress that is caused by life events like a scary injury, immigration or living through a natural disaster (like Hurricane Florence that just hit the east coast). This type of stress causes a flood of powerful stress hormones to be released which help our bodies rise to the occasion. During these types of situations, having a caring and trusted person by your side can offset this rush of hormones. In children it can calm the stress response and help the body build resilience.
While all children will at some point experience positive stress and most children will experience tolerable stress, there is a third type of stress called Toxic Stress. Toxic stress is the body’s response to severe and/or lasting stress such as emotional or physical abuse, neglect, parental addiction and mental illness. Without the support of a caring and trusted adult for a child experiencing toxic stress, powerful stress hormones overwhelm the child’s body and brain and can result in lifelong mental, physical and behavioural health issues.
What Effects do Toxic Stress Cause?
Now I know some of you might be thinking that these things just happen and can be dealt with but it’s important to realize that research is pointing to the long term and serious effects of toxic stress. Now, y’all, we all know stress of any kind can impact a person and take a toll both physically and emotionally but toxic stress takes things to the next level. If left unaddressed, toxic stress can affect growth, learning, behavior, immunity and even genes. In fact, kids who are exposed to very high doses of adversity without the proper support of loving and caring adults can have more than double the lifetime risk of heart disease and cancer and nearly a 20-year difference in life expectancy. As if these weren’t sobering enough statistics, these children are also at greater risk for depression, obesity, substance abuse problems, smoking, lung problems and teen pregnancy as well as other chronic illnesses down the road. To me, this information wasn’t shocking but it was sobering and it made me take a different look at every child I come into contact with on a daily basis and wonder if there were Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) happening in their lives that I am simply unaware of. This in turn led me to want to learn more about the symptoms of toxic stress.
What are the Symptoms of Toxic Stress?
We’ve already discussed the type of traumatic life events that can lead to toxic stress and while the examples I listed are not all inclusive, the types of ACES I mentioned earlier are just to give you a general idea of the types of traumatic experiences that can lead to toxic stress. Perhaps your own child or a foster child or adoptive child has experienced one of these traumatic life events. Maybe there is a child in your classroom (if you’re a teacher) or your child’s classroom that you’ve always thought was experiencing some trauma but you weren’t really sure what you should be looking for. I want to make each of you aware of the symptoms of toxic stress, which include:
- Sleep Issues
- Frequent headaches or tummy aches
- Crying more than usual
- Regressing to bed wetting or baby talk
- Developing new fears
- Poor coping skills
- Behavior and learning difficulties
- Mood swings
- Overeating and other compulsive behaviors
- Fear and anxiety triggered by places or people that remind them of the past
If you’re like me, you instantly read through this list and started thinking about all the children in your life. To make things easier, you can find the ACE Quiz here. It will walk you through some simple questions to help determine if a child you know has been exposed to Adverse Childhood Experiences and could be at risk for toxic stress. You can also click here to see a TED Talk about how childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime.
What Should I Do if I Know a Child Suffering from Toxic Stress?
Over the next two months, I’ll be sharing more information on ACES, Toxic Stress and how you as an adult can help combat toxic stress in the children in your life with simple tips.
Until then, be sure to check out the Stress Health Website for information, resources and tips to help deal with toxic stress.
Then tell me, have you or your child ever experienced ACES that you think could lead to toxic stress?
God, that is terrible. I don’t want my kids to ever experience that type of stress in their lives.
This was a very informative piece of writing. Stress happens to everyone. We don’t think about our young children being stressed but they are.
I have never heard of toxic stress before, but it makes sense. I always try to be there for my kids when I see they are upset.
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Stress is bad for everyone and I can’t imagine how it is for children. Toxic stress is new to me. Thanks for sharing
I have to admit I’ve not heard of toxic stress before, but how awful is it! I love the things to say instead of stop crying. As that is never a good thing to say to anyone upset.
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Last year was a stressful year for my daughter, her 7th grade teacher was not very nice to them. She was picking her fingers and made it bleed most of the times. We talked to her a lot about it and now that she has a different teacher, things is so different. Support system is very important.
When I was a teacher, I saw lots of kids who were suffering from the effects of toxic stress. It can cause so much damage to a psyche.
Thank you for such an informative post. I will be sharing it with a friend whose daughter-in-law just left her son and 2 small children. I know she worries about the effects this is having on the almost 8 year old granddaughter and 3 year old grandson. She is doing great helping with them but I know she is worried about that toxic stress you described.
I am afraid many children deal with toxic stress. I am a teacher and I see it in my classroom every day. I try to help them as much as I can, but it really is a parent’s job ultimately.
I love the examples of specific things to say to a child. I have a kid who gets stressed sometimes and I am definitely trying these phrases next time.
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Alyssa, be on the lookout for my follow up post coming next month for some ideas!
This is so good! When we lived through Hurricane Irma, we definitely took a long time recovering. It seemed like we were just out of it and so tired when everything went back to “normal”. After awhile I realized how high on adrenaline we were for so long during the hurricane that our bodies were needing to recover.
This makes me think about all the sweet children in foster care who don’t have a family and have been through soooo much in their lives. I hope to someday become a foster parent and help kids learn how important they are.
It can be challenge enough to be a kid these days. Toxic stress adds a heavy load to kids. Thanks for sharing this.
As a school leader I experienced seeing this type of stress on a daily basis. It is becoming an epidemic.
So important to look out for these symptoms in children. We often forget that kids can be highly affected by toxic stress.
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This post is quite informative and a lot of people should consider looking into this. I am all for the well being of my child and his mental health as well.
I’ve heard of this for children but haven’t ever been provided with so much factual information. With little girls at home this is definitely something I should know about. Throughout your child’s life at home there are so many of their friends we as parents have the opportunity to get to know – this is a great resource.
I hadn’t heard of this before for children. Thank you for sharing this information.
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